Elon Musk is grotesquely rich, but he has a lot of heart for those who are still a few bucks shy of their first billion. The Musk Store is now selling “Be Like Elon” products that can make anyone feel like the world’s richest man.
Elon’s Beard is a high-tech puberty blocker for young men that guarantees a sparse and spotty beard for life.
Elon’s De-Bearder enables full-bearded men to fight off those pesky hormones and restore the Elon-esque beard they had in middle school.
Elon’s Charisma Blocker is a weekly tablet that generates an off-putting aura that turns even close friends into former friends.
Elon’s Ego Inflator is a weekly tablet that creates a self-image grander than anyone else in the room—or on the entire planet if taken daily.
Elon’s Fact Blaster is an X add-on that automatically fact-checks your posts in the background to ensure they remain fact-free.
Elon’s Childbase is database for men who father 15 or more children and want to keep track of their names, ages, education and mothers.
Elon’s Echo Chamber is an X add-on that uses AI to generate fawning approvals for even the most offensive, unintelligent things you post.
Elon’s Layoff Launcher is a simple app that lets you fire up to 90% of your staff, all from a safe distance. No personal contact required.
