Terms & Conditions

Welcome to Deep Musk, where the news is as real as a unicorn riding a Tesla across Mars. By accessing this website, you are officially nodding your head in agreement with our odious terms and conditions:

Acceptance of Terms:
• By reading this, you are entering a legally binding agreement. Got ya! Or, at least, that’s what we’ll say when we’re called to the witness stand.
• If you don’t agree with these terms, please close this tab immediately and wash out your eyes.

Content Disclaimer:
• Everything on this site is satire. It’s fake. It’s a joke. It’s imaginary. There is a vast gulf between what you see here and reality.
• We are not responsible for any emotional distress caused by our “articles,” especially if you actually believed them.
• We cannot be held liable for any decisions you make based on our content. That would be like forming opinions based on something you read on TikTok. Oh. You do? Never mind.

User Conduct:
• You are free to laugh, cry, or scream at our content.
• You are free to share our site with friends, family, colleagues and enemies.
• Do not attempt to sue us. We have no money.
• Please do not attempt to use any of our fake products, or contact any of our fake authors. They do not exist.

Intellectual Property:
• All content on this site is the property of Deep Musk.
• You may share all text and images on our site, but must follow the Prime Directive. That is, you MUST give credit to “deepmusk.com.” If you fail to do that, we cannot be responsible for damage to your karma.

Mail List:
• If you signed up for our mail list, congratulations! That means we’ll email new stories to you. Surprised?
• We promise not to sell your email, mostly because we’re too lazy to figure out how.

Changes to Terms:
• These terms will never, ever change. Unless we can think of a funnier way to phrase them.
• We will never, ever announce it when we make a change. It’s your job to visit this page often, just in case.

Limitation of Liability:
• In no event shall Deep Musk be liable for any damages arising out of your use of this website.
• If you do make any claims against us, we will deny everything.

Contact:
• If you have questions, comments or complaints, please use our Contact form. Whether or not we respond is based purely on whim.